A homecoming
to soul , to story, to stage
I want to tell you a story about something that happened to me a week ago, but it's been happening to me for almost nine years. I've been talking about this transition for some time now. If you're into numerology, we're all in a collective year nine, basically completion and endings, Quelle surprise. When I left my corporate job many moons ago, I had two vows I kept to myself mostly. Firstly, I wanted to make the corporate world human. I know, I know, the idealist in me. Secondly, I would leave the mask at the door and dedicate my life to being a student of Authenticity. Let me give you a little word of advice. Vows are f*cking powerful, my friends, and I had no idea what exactly I was getting myself into.
When I left my corporate job, I thought I was having what I know to be a Dark Night of the Soul (aka as spiritual sh*t show), which I was to a certain extent. It was one of my life's lowest points, but the universe had plans for a trilogy, much to my naivety. With an ectopic pregnancy that sent me into the belly of the underworld, and a trip to my motherland of Colombia to discover and undo black magic. Then, two years of being in a muggle job to get some sense of normality. Yes, I have been keeping a little secret for some time: I quietly returned to the world of employment in September 2023 to get some sense of normality, structure, and routine. I have been in my chopping wood, carry water era - integration, integration, integration. And I've been grateful for it!
So fast forward to last week, and I'm in Wales, back where I was living on the Pembrokeshire Coast and attending the third of six retreats on a three-year programme called Dadeni which translates to rebirth in Welsh. A mystery school all about the indigeneity of Wales/Britain. However, it took me all my might to get there because I'd returned from a retreat in Egypt with a dodgy tummy (as most do), having recently moved into my new home and a significant keynote talk I had to deliver the week after. The latter bit is important because I intended not to stir myself too much in the run-up to being back on stage, in front of people, and speaking for the first time in two years. But my teacher convinced me with tender words and an upgrade to a single room. So, ten minutes before the taxi arrive, I finished packing and dashed out the door to get a seven hour train down.
To say I was reluctant to be there was an understatement. I had all sorts of emotions I hadn't fully processed about my time there that came up almost the minute my foot hit the ground. I wanted to be anywhere but there. So, when we opened the circle, it all came out in word vomit and tears, and something in me loosened. The following days were rough, and I went from feeling ill to feeling awful, when my physical symptoms all of a sudden multiplied into emotional symptoms over a fireside discussion with my teacher—blog for another day. We went on an eight-mile walk to the Preseli Hills, where the bluestones of Stonehenge were reportedly taken from (an essential piece of information for later on). We then did a sweat lodge. Think of a ceremony, a cleansing ritual, in pitch black, sweating like a (insert preference).
Things finally started shifting or aligning. I rebirthed in some sense - that's been happening a lot lately. Which is what the intention is. The structure is often described as the womb of the mother. In our closing circle, I talked about how worried I had been to destabilise my centre, not wanting to make myself overly vulnerable in the run-up to my keynote, famous last words. It wasn't until two nights before my talk that it started hitting me as to how big this talk was. This was me coming back to my work but different. I looked different, I felt different, I sounded different. I intended to do what I always do: tell stories. Only this time, I would say the story from the start and write the ending of this nine-year cycle on stage in front of sixty leaders.
All these pieces started to fall into place. The fact that this talk had been six years in discussion but only now had been the right timing. The talk was fifteen minutes from Stonehenge, which I went to on the eve of the talk—weaving in the medicine of my retreat the weekend before when visiting the Preseli Hills. I asked the stones for stillness and grounding. How the retreat reminded me through watching my teacher, the space holders, the guest teacher, and all my fellow students work together like a village to prepare the sweat lodge, what it means to lead from the heart and the wild within (the name I chose for my keynote talk). How I had called in a poem for months, weeks, days and eventually it arrived to me just in time, the morning of.
And so, I trusted what unfolded as I had been doing so for all these years, and it came out different from what I had imagined. Both the talk and the homecoming. It felt like it came out as a whisper. Not bold and bright, but slow and soft. I drew my slides. I opened with one of my favourite myths, The Hunter and the Fox Woman.
I told the myth, but this time, I felt her in me. The Fox Woman, half wild, half vanished, returning not to be tamed but to remind me of my own wild.
I walked barefoot. I closed with a poem, a prayer. The old part of me panicked. Maybe that's not enough, but the scariest thing is that maybe it is enough. The vulnerability at the surface. The slowness and steadiness. The presence versus performance. The integration of the feminine and the masculine. The dance between the professional and the personal. The imperfection. The tears. The soul. The heart. The wild. Days passed and I realised, maybe it is enough. Maybe this is the homecoming. And maybe, just maybe, this was the vow all along — not to arrive polished, but to arrive whole.
With love and magic,
Authentic Alex x
🍃 Ready to explore the many faces of your soul?
Voices of the Archetypes is a 6-week live writing workshop created to send you on a journey of deep self-exploration—through the lens of our multi-faceted selves. Through the lens of archetypes, from the Warrior to the Healer, the Starborn to the Mentor, you’ll explore your inner world with courage, creativity, and connection. This is more than a writing course; it’s a sacred space for self-inquiry, storytelling, and soulful transformation.
🍃 Investment: £299 for the full 6-week experience.
🍃 Upgrade: Additional £99 for a 1:1 Archetype, Hero’s Journey Card Reading.
🍃 Begins mid-June 2025 — live via Zoom once a week.
🍃 Includes a private WhatsApp group with writers.
We are now over half full, with only 3 spots left available, it’s an intimate circle where your voice is truly heard. If you're ready to write from your wildest truths, email me: alex@authenticalex.com and I’ll send the details. Starts 19th June 2025.