Crossing The Threshold

Capturing moments between the ordinary world and the special world

Over Summer, I was on a medicine walk as part of The School of Myth’s Summer School. For those unfamiliar, a medicine walk is where you go on a walk out in nature, consciously connect with your surroundings, and ask to be shown what medicine your soul needs. By slowing down and tuning in, you become aware of the messages available to you. Barely ten minutes in, and I had my soul medicine. I found myself sitting at the foot of an old oak tree on the edge of Dartmoor, watching people on their own medicine walk over the rolling hills, past the stone wall and into the woodlands. I sat witnessing, smiling and waving as people ventured along. 'Sitting on the threshold,' I wrote in my notebook and pondered what it meant. It had become glaringly apparent over the Summer that a theme was emerging.

Around that same time, I found myself at a Spiritual Ecology retreat run by St Ethelburga’s centre for Peace and Reconciliation, where some very magical things happened to me, an upcoming edition. Every day we had a different theme to work with; on the third day, it was Flowers. Led by the charismatic Charlotte Du Cann, whose energy and joy just burst through the Zoom screen, we were guided to an exercise to communicate with flowers. I felt drawn to do the exercise in the sweltering greenhouse and unsurprisingly gravitated to my favourite flower, the violet. I'd never thought about where the expression 'shrinking violet' originated until I saw violets standing in the shadows of these taller and more dominant flowers. After that, I thought a lot about how often I'd retreated into the shadows to allow others to take the light and asked myself, who made me shrink? What exactly was I shrinking or hiding?

After the exercise, I went to look for information about violets. I found references to Greek mythology where in the story of Persephone, she was picking violets when Pluto took her to the underworld, a crossing of a threshold. Violets are also used a lot in funerals which is one of the most significant thresholds we cross between life and death. In Christianity, they compared the violet to Christ's ability to be an intermediary - to live both in the human and spiritual worlds. Now, I'm not saying I'm Christ reincarnated. Still, I've been spending a lot of time at the threshold of both worlds but mostly writing about my experiences in the ordinary world for the past few years. At times it has felt like keeping a secret, and whilst I've drip-fed tidbits here and there, there are some special world experiences I've had this Summer that I've been waiting to integrate before sharing with the world.

Whilst I have gained a lot by looking at my experiences through the lens of the mind, which I will continue to do, I wanted to also share my experiences from my new reality and newfound consciousness. The themes of this newsletter will remain the same, but my approach will be much more holistic, as has my journey to wholeness been. This was probably the piece I felt was missing in my former newsletter, From Trauma to Triumph. Don't get me wrong, I still want to talk about family dynamics, but I now know you also have to look at ancestry. I still want to talk about mental health, but now I know you also have to look at intergenerational trauma. It was, in a way, the threshold I wasn't ready to cross, for fear of rejection, some ancestral fears of being seen or a witch wound from a past life as a persecuted alchemist.

A poll I did on LinkedIn last year about whether LinkedIn was the place for conversations on spirituality was somewhat encouraging. I realised that people have followed me for my story, and this is just the evolution of that journey. With this new phase, it was time to change the newsletter's name to reflect what I wanted to focus on in my writing and work. As I look to support people more holistically, I had to think about what I offer, a question I've often wrestled with. It reminded me of a sales course I was on a few years back where someone pointed out, "it's obvious what you do. You're a journeywoman." A job title had never resonated so deeply. I've now realised that I am indeed a journeywoman walking alongside people as they cross the threshold, just as I watched people cross the stonewall threshold over Dartmoor.

Keeper of the Threshold, Elihu Vedder, 1897-1898

With new beginnings, I've noticed some old feelings have surfaced about this new direction. I remember the very first time I began writing on LinkedIn about therapy and depression back in 2017. At the time, no one was talking about Mental Health in the corporate space, let alone on LinkedIn. There were barely any content creators on the platform, especially in the UK. I felt exposed and vulnerable, but I pushed through the fear and slowly started to hear people's experiences in the comments or in my inbox. Not many were prepared to be the first to talk about it, but they were willing to be a part of the conversation, and I was happy to lead the way. Then mental health finally became mainstream. So here I am, sticking my head out all over again, with a hunch that whilst I might be one of few talking about spirituality on LinkedIn, it is only a matter of time before it goes mainstream.

Thanks to a conversation last week with one of my very first clients, I was reminded by him that, "you're not a follower, Alex. You've always been a leader." He asked me to take some time to think about the impact I'd had in the past, and I would be lying if I said I didn't get emotional. I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness because I'd not only forgotten the impact I'd made, I'd forgotten my power and my value. Grief does that to you. It takes everything away and strips you of your identity. I've had to search for who I am and accept that I am different because of my experiences. A person who is a poet, an artist, a healer, a storyteller, and so much more. To own all those parts of me in the face of a world that wants people to be one thing or to conform to 'being normal' is something t§hat continues to be one of my most significant challenges.

Some might feel that this newsletter's new direction is something other than what you resonate with. As much as I'll be sad to see you go, that's okay, time is precious, and it's important to know where you invest it. Words always land in front of those ready to receive the message. You may stay for curiosity, go, and come back; if you do come back, you will be so welcomed. You can expect a similar format to my old newsletter, with the addition of some poetry, doodles, self-inquiry questions for you to ponder, books I'm reading and what I'm learning. I'll also share my offerings which you can find at the bottom of the newsletter. There are lots of new and exciting offerings I'm beta testing now for you to be a part of if you feel called to join one of my journeys.

I'll write this new newsletter weekly. You will notice that I will slowly move my mailing list and this LinkedIn newsletter to Substack. One of my career goals this year is to become a paid writer. I have written content for the past seven years for free, and I now have to own that this is my work and takes considerable time, effort and money. My aim has always been to transmit my learning from my experiences in therapy, retreats, workshops, and conferences to my audience at no cost. Over the years, I've often gotten messages about how much this newsletter has moved you, resonated with you and provided you with insights. I would be so grateful if you felt called to support my work by subscribing, dropping a like and a comment. I would love to be able to dedicate more time and energy to bringing you more stories and insights as I weave my words in service to you.

Lastly, I leave you with a poem about crossing a threshold I wrote some time ago…

I carry you in me and now you carry me in you.

One moment that will change us for the rest of our lives.

An instant death of who we once were.

But isn’t that to live, a constant rebirth of our becoming?

Never quite fully there and that’s the tangle, the tension.

We pay and pray to be liberated from our patience, to be accelerated into our awareness. But what if we aren’t ready?

What if it doesn’t land and instead if drifts through us like crisp air.

It’s not the frostiness we want.

We want the warm words that wrap our wounds.

We want soft stories that soothe our soul.

We want a gentle giant to guide us.

We are adults and yet we’re still afraid for the dark, the deep, the difficult.

It calls to us late at night, it whispers to us through our cries.

It eventually screams to us as the tower crumbles to the ground.

The ground we seek to build upon but have abandoned to be sane, only to lose ourselves once more.

When all signs point towards the unknown, the underground, the unsaid.

Will you answer to the call?

With love and magic, 

Authentic Alex x

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Upcoming news and events…

I recently launched the Café of Endings and New Beginnings with my wonderful friend Tracey McEachran. The Cafe is a virtual place created to explore all our griefs within community. There is power in the group, because everyone is holding up a mirror to allow us to see ourselves more fully by exploring what we cannot see on our own. Our next Café is Monday 13th February and is by donation, you can sign up here.

I’m currently mapping out a new creative writing course based on my current Ancestral exploration, which you’ll be reading about soon. If you’re curious to connect with your ancestry or to try out creative writing, then register your interest here to get the early bird offer. Beginners and experienced writers are all welcomed.

Lastly, I stopped coaching this time last year as I needed the space to get clear if it was something I wanted to continue to do and if so how my approach needed to evolve. I realised what needed changing was incorporating a more holistic approach that includes both the practical and the spiritual. I specialise in guiding people to cross the threshold. If you’re curious to know more, please feel free to reach out to me.