Finding Joy

and cultivating happiness

I've lost count of how often I've heard different variations of "you look really well. Colombia is doing you well" over Zoom calls when catching up with friends and clients. I've often replied joking, not joking, "did I look that bad before?" but the truth is I know the answer to that question. Last year I had chosen JOY as my word for the year, yet most of what I felt was an overwhelming sense of grief, limbo and confusion. There were moments of joy, but they were few and far between. When I moved to Colombia at the end of December last year, I thought I was going there to do my personal project, wrap that off and jet back home. But, I've found myself surprised by life here and the deep sense of joy I am seeped in, and clearly, it's showing. So, I thought about what exactly I was getting right this year…

Childhood

Baby Alex

I came to Colombia often as a child during my school Summer break. I'd travel the country, horse ride, watch my cousins jet ski on lake Guatavita, have parilladas (Colombian BBQ) on the side of the road, and swim on the North Coast with my family. I'd accompany my uncle to work meetings and run errands around the city. I'd be surrounded by family members telling stories, reading poetry, telling jokes, and running businesses. Many of the things I love now as an adult came from those moments that shaped who I am and how I view the world. Those three months were also the time I almost felt like a child, playing, being free, having fun. Being back as an adult and doing a lot of what I used to do as a child here has reconnected me with my inner child in an almost experiential way.

Community

Expat friends

Something that came as a complete surprise on my trip was finding a community. I wasn't searching for one, as I knew I was only here for some time, but I stumbled on one. Not just any community but a group of people my age where the majority are born in Colombia but raised abroad or, like me, born abroad with a Colombian parent/s. I never imagined I'd come across people my age feeling called to return to their roots as I did. People that understand the unique set of challenges of that journey. As someone with many individual friends, I didn't realise I needed it in my life until I had it. It has brought tremendous fun, play, laughs, and joy into my life. We've socialised, celebrated each other's wins and been there for each other when times were hard.

Creativity

Ceramics & Journal Sketching

Now, this joy-inducing activity was something I intentionally sought, and that was a way I could express my creativity. It started with ceramics, something I'd done as a one-off workshop with a friend in London just before leaving. I realised I had a natural knack for it and I wanted to develop that skill. So every week, I go to ceramics and make things, trinket boxes, a mushroom mug, a watercolour palette, a candle holder and a family constellation to put on my ancestral altar. No idea how I'm going to bring that all back to the UK eventually. I then did a one-off three-week journal sketching course. I wanted to start journaling my process here. I'd watched a few YouTube videos but wanted something in person. The beauty of both these creative classes was that I met many other creatives. Lastly, I recently started private salsa classes. I have always loved to dance, especially salsa. It's a joy I can't quite describe.

Culture 

Football games, to Tejo (traditional Colombian game), to evenings at the British Embassy and lots of food

When I was growing up, my mum always used to say, "you're more Colombian than I am." I was indeed very Colombian for not being born and raised there. I don't know what it was, but I carried it in my blood and felt it. I was proud to call myself half-Colombian when people asked where I was from. Growing up, I didn't have any posters of Blue or Boyzone but put me some Carlos Vives on, and I'd be shaking my hips dancing around the house. I would make arepas and huevos pericos (Colombian eggs) for breakfast at home. My weekends were often spent convincing my friends to go to Bar Salsa instead of a trendy London club. So being here, immersed in the culture: the music, the art, the food, the language, the land again for a continuous period, feels joyful.

So why have I had such a consistent sense of joy whilst here, unlike other times and places? Firstly, it concerns the cost of living here, which is considerably lower than in the UK. I wanted to do a ceramics class in the UK, but it's not the cheapest of hobbies. Secondly, I do things that bring me joy consistently. I go to ceramics, learn salsa, and hang out with my community several times weekly. Lastly, I've cut out a lot of things in my life that brings me the opposite of joy. I've also realised that not much in my life makes my joy waver in the way it used to in the past. Sure, there are underlying fears about my career pivot, financial security, and building a business abroad. However, that's almost background noise to a joyful life these past two months.

One thing that has been glaringly obvious in this cultivating joy endeavour is that connection is at the centre of all these and, as a result belonging too.

Had I made this trip a few years ago, it would have been a different experience. I was made aware of the community I'm a part of by someone I had met in my ceramics class. I stopped her as she was walking out and introduced myself. Something I would never have had the confidence to do years ago. I wouldn't have realised the importance of needing creativity had it not been for my loss and grief that took me to a retreat that reminded me of my love of creating. Had my mum not sent me to Colombia and many other countries on my own as a child, I wouldn't have the ease that I do to navigate my way around countries and cultures in the way I can.

This time here is fast climbing up the ranks of one of the happiest times in my life and that I did not expect!

P.s: I also love my cousin and his cat.

With love and magic,

#AuthenticAlex

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Upcoming news and events…

I recently launched the Café of Endings and New Beginnings with my wonderful friend Tracey McEachran. The Cafe is a virtual place created to explore all our griefs within community. There is power in the group, because everyone is holding up a mirror to allow us to see ourselves more fully by exploring what we cannot see on our own. Our next Café is this upcoming Monday 13th March and is by donation, you can sign up here.

I've recently launched a new creative writing course based on my current Ancestral exploration, which you’ll be reading about soon. If you’re curious to connect with your ancestry, then you can find out more here. Beginners and experienced writers are all welcomed.

Lastly, I stopped coaching this time last year as I needed the space to get clear if it was something I wanted to continue to do and if so how my approach needed to evolve. I realised what needed changing was incorporating a more holistic approach that includes both the practical and the spiritual. I specialise in guiding people to cross the threshold. If you’re curious to know more, please reach out.